The Pillows

I haven’t been able to sleep properly the past few nights. The main problem was that I knew my pillows were attempting to swap places. I use two pillows to go to sleep: one is a down feather pillow, the other is a shitty normal pillow that should be sent to the fiery pits of hell. It was the second bastard pillow that kept swapping places or was otherwise instigating a positional swap with the down pillow, and it was this pillow that filled me with rage last night.

I find it highly disturbing that the shitty bastard pillow even had the ability to disagree with its place in the universe. Even worse was after waking the first time with my head on the bastard pillow, I became agitated and highly stressed that they swapped places while I was asleep. I felt almost paranoid about the intentions of the shitty pillow over the past few nights, and even now I can’t sleep.

In the early hours of this morning I had a dream that I caught the stuffy pillow, that I could somehow sense its malevolent intentions. I was enraged by the pillow’s betrayal and I ripped it nearly in half. When I suddenly awoke the room was still pitch black, I couldn’t even see my nose… but gripped in my hands was the demonic pillow and as i ran my hands over it I found a rip where the stuffing was coming out now. I murdered that bastard pillow and this weekend I will find replacements.